Today’s tip: I AM VULNERABLE, THAT’S MY STRENGTH! These are Peter’s words of wisdom for the participants at a recent leadership training organized with Harvard University. For our non-UNICEF colleagues, Peter, without any need for fanfare, title, or even last name is UNICEF’s Representative in Nigeria and most likely he will be very unhappy with me for putting him on the spot. However, for me, this was a memorable quote and once I shared it I had to disclose the author. In any case, the objective of these tips is to share good ideas and useful -tried and tested- successful leadership practices that may facilitate navigating through the interesting, challenging and exciting times we live in. Almost every day we force ourselves to be strong, positive, resilient, creative, polite. We draw a smile on our faces even when sometimes we want to cry; we nod in affirmation even when we would like to flatly reject the idea as non-sensical; most of the time we simply ‘take it’ because we believe we ‘have to’ because ‘it is our job’… While no one will argue in favor of impoliteness or rudeness, perhaps we would like to revisit whether we are being truly polite or just hypocritical, and whether this is the ‘right thing to do’ or even if this is what ‘our job’ demands. Whether you are ‘deep acting’ -being polite out of empathy, conviction, care- or ‘surface acting’ -being hypocritical, just pretending and looking for the first opportunity to get it your way- every time you put on ‘your best face’ you are engaging in what the psychologists call ‘emotional labor’, i.e. “the effort it takes to keep your professional game face on when what you’re doing is not concordant with how you feel.” This ‘emotional labor’ is hard work and may come at a steep price, both for us -the ‘actors’- and the organizations we work for. At the personal level the emotional labor may negatively impact our non-work relationships, including our family relationships. The more effort we put in the most likely it results in depression, disengagement, and growing frustration. At the organization level, this may lead to a values, retention and even an identity crisis, all of which could seriously jeopardize achieving the results expected of the organization. Susan David, in the annexed article, posits that the remedy starts with us and the way in which we think about ourselves and our work. She invites us to remember why we are in the jobs we are; to realize that there is much in our jobs that we do because we ‘want to’ and not only because we ‘have to’, and invites us to engage in some ‘job crafting’, tailoring at least part of our work experience in accordance with our interests. The more I ponder on this, the more I realize that we can thrive if, and only if -like Peter- we are ready to accept our vulnerability as a strength and not as a weakness.
Why CEO’s should model vulnerability:
3 myths that stop people from asking for help at workhttps://hbr.org/2020/06/3-myths-that-stop-people-from-asking-for-help-at-work?ab=hero-subleft-2
Angelica Hale: An inspiration and an inspirational song. https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-d&q=angelica+hale+america%27s+got+talent
Take care and stay safe. Have a fantastic week!