Today’s tip: FORGET ABOUT WINNING, FIGHT TO BE SUCCESSFUL!!!
This past weekend -Saturday and Sunday- was Indian weekend: tandoori chicken, murg makhana (butter chicken), garlic naan, rogan josh (red lamb), palak paneer, etc. Along with good food, there’s always good conversation, particularly when you have a cultural mosaic of Bangladeshis, Ugandans, Egyptians, Indians, Brits, Sri Lankans, Tanzanians, and -of course- the only Costa Rican in town! We fixed the world, sorted out COVID-19, sang along some ‘classics,’ and rediscovered the beauty of socializing. Yes, we were responsible, and the two groups I was blessed to join were tiny and kept our distance, but they were very energetic!
With one of the groups, the topic of corruption came up, and the issue of success followed. Despite our different professional and cultural backgrounds, we all saw as a severe threat what we perceived as “a win at all costs mentality.” From the ‘sugar daddy/mommy’ phenomenon to the ‘respected’ neighborhood thug, including the ‘untouchable Oga’ we all personally knew or had heard about, we concurred that these were social results of a machiavellian approach to success. Regardless of the industry, field, or level, our global village, at present, seems to reward ‘winning at all costs’, validating without remorse the XVI century Florentine philosopher’s advice: “the end justifies the means.”
As I headed home for my siesta, I pondered if this ‘win at all costs’ mentality was present only in negative things, i.e., corruption, cheating, and other reprehensible behaviors, or if it was more prevalent. I was sad to note it is much more pervasive than we care to admit. We expect our children to get the best scores of the class; be the best athletes; go to the best schools; engage in all kinds of extracurricular activities and shine in all or at least one. We expect them to be winners, becoming better than we are. The same thing happens to our teams. The pressure to win, to be the first, to be unique, special, to be the best is everywhere, non-stop, 24/7. This approach is creating havoc among ourselves, and even more worryingly, among our younger generations. We are having ‘winners’ committing suicide because they got to the top but destroyed themselves in the process. We have societies normalizing abuse, violence, and corruption because being rich and famous is much more important than being real and honest.
Now that the COVID-19 reminds us of our shared vulnerability, perhaps we can listen -and follow- Ms. Val’s advice to redefine success. Coming from an undisputed ‘winner,’ I took to heart what she says. I invite you to do the same!
Why winning doesn’t always equal success:
Take care, stay safe, get the most out of this week, and be happy. Don’t forget; work is a blessing, not a punishment!