There is also a sort of “leadership Alzheimer’s disease.” It consists in losing the memory of those who nurtured, mentored and supported us in our own journeys. We see this in those who have lost the memory of their encounters with the great leaders who inspired them; in those who are completely caught up in the present moment, in their passions, whims and obsessions; in those who build walls and routines around themselves, and thus become more and more the slaves of idols carved by their own hands.”
Gary Hamel
Let me start with an assumption and then allow me to follow with a question? I am going to assume that as soon as you finished reading the paragraph above at least a couple of people came to your mind. Perhaps you have not thought of them in a while or maybe you are constantly in touch with them. Regardless, am I right in my assumption? Did your brain uninvitedly provide you with the names and faces of those “who nurtured, mentored, and supported” in your journey to becoming who you are today?
Now let me ask you something. Are you, or have you been, infected with the “leadership Alzheimer’s disease”? Hold on, just a minute, please. Before you answer, consider the following:
If my assumption is correct, your brain shot a couple of names in a hurry, most likely very few. Perhaps two or three, but if at first, you got more names, celebrate it. Now, I invite you to make a deliberate effort to remember the people who ‘nurtured, mentored, and supported’ you since you were little. Who made a difference? You might even not remember some of their names, but you may remember their faces. Go ahead down memory lane, take your time. Ask yourself, who helped me become who I am and be where I am today?
Go back as far as you can. Including school teachers, family, and friends. Continue with high-school, your first job, college, and university if you attended. Who draws a smile in your face or warms your heart when you think of what they did for you?
At first, as a reflex, my brain volunteered two names. I am very clear how important they were to me, both were my bosses and later became my friends. They inspired me, believed in me, supported me, taught me, and made me feel that I had somehow reciprocated. I have no quandaries stating that I love them, however, I have not seen them in at least five years one and ten the other. Even worse, I have not talked with them at about the same time and I am ashamed to say that I’ve barely texted them for the holidays, despite the sincere gratitude, admiration, and love I have for them.
The smile and warm heart I had when their faces came into my memory quickly changed when I realized how selfish, and ungrateful, I have been. I do love them, no doubt about it, but it is evident that I love myself much more and that my today has trumped my yesterday, despite the fact that without these gentlemen my today would be totally different and likely for the worst. I did not feel proud of myself.
To compensate, I immediately texted them both and asked them to talk. I just wanted to know how they are doing, to hear their voices, and to let them know that -after so many years of what they did for me- I still care, that I am grateful, and that they made a difference in my life. They appreciated the call and I promised myself I would keep in touch. It is the least I can do. If I keep my promise, I’ll know that my ‘leadership Alzheimer’s disease’ is receding, but I need to be alert. What about you?
As I continue to ponder to who am I particularly indebted due to their nurture, support and mentorship, I recalled one of my Law School professors. She was a stern barrister, a good-hearted person, and a principled teacher. We never became friends, but she trusted and supported me, and took me as her Academic Assistant. This opened the door for me to eventually teach the same course she had taught me. I always appreciated her support and I know that without it, I’d not have had the privilege to follow in her steps. However, I never told her how important she was to me. I failed to tell her how grateful I was, and how much her trust, encouragement, and support -with deeds more than words- influenced my life. My professor passed some years ago. This is my posthumous tribute to her. I lost my chance to say thank you, I pray you are still on time to appreciate those who have been there for you. Don’t waste the opportunity!