Then there is the disease of mental and [emotional] “petrification.” It is found in leaders who have a heart of stone, the “stiff-necked;” in those who in the course of time lose their interior serenity, alertness, and daring, and hide under a pile of papers, turning into paper pushers and not men and women of compassion. It is dangerous to lose the human sensitivity that enables us to weep with those who weep and to rejoice with those who rejoice! Because as time goes on, our hearts grow hard and become incapable of loving all those around us. Being a humane leader means having the sentiments of humility and unselfishness, of detachment and generosity.
Gary Hamel, The 15 Diseases of Leadership, According to Pope Francis
Whether you remember it or not, some time ago we were all children. In our recent past and during several years of our life, all of us had warm tender hearts and wide shining smiles. Yes, you did!
We were ready to forgive and forget, were oblivious to social perceptions, and easily befriended anyone who wanted to play with us, regardless of creed, color, ethnicity, social or economic level, or any other artificial distinction. We were eager to take risks without overthinking, quick to accept correction, and – most of the time- willing to quickly make amends following someone’s feedback, guidance, or rebuke.
As we grew older, however, things changed. We first became aware of our image, our social standing, our differences, and our ‘birthrights’. Later, some of us turned such awareness into an obsession, and several of us started developing an alternative image ‘for export’. Although the image we created may not closely reflect who we are, as long as it is close to who we want others to think we are, it seems to be fine… (or so we tell ourselves). And then, social media arrived!
In a blink of an eye, our lives were suddenly transformed. We became ‘global stars’. We learned that the world at large was ‘eager’ to know -and see- what we ate, where we traveled, how we dressed, and -of course- who did we befriend or date. The days of asking someone else to take a picture for us are long gone. It is ‘selfie-time’ and we are constantly discovering better angles, poses, settings and frames to feed our ‘fans’ with as many ‘memorable’ moments as we can share.
Unfortunately, this ‘reality’ we have created does not necessarily reflect the ‘reality’ we live in and therefore we develop different defense and coping mechanisms to manage the dissonance. One of them is the mental and emotional petrification the Pope is referring to.
People with authority, however big or small, are particularly vulnerable to this ‘disease’. No one wants to be perceived as ignorant, incompetent, intrusive, or negative, but if you are the BOSS, that is unthinkable! Consequently, many choose not to ask questions, admit to mistakes or weaknesses, volunteer ideas, or critique the status- quo. It is ‘safer’ to be tough (i.e. unemotional), to look ‘professional’ (i.e. cold), posed (i.e. unapproachable). There is only one little problem with this approach. It just does not work. Building a psychologically safe workplace Amy Edmondson TEDxHGSE – YouTube (PLEASE CHECK THIS UP!)
Abundant and uncontradicted research shows that one of the key characteristics of high-performing teams is having a psychologically safe environment, where people know that they will not be punished, excluded, or humiliated for disagreeing with others, asking questions, proposing ideas, raising concerns or admitting mistakes. Creating Psychological Safety at Work in a Knowledge Economy | Amy Edmondson, Harvard – YouTube
Furthermore, in a world hit by a global pandemic and the fears brought by the ongoing wars, it becomes critical to realize that:
- No one can give what it lacks. How can you care for someone if you don’t care for yourself? How can you love someone if you don’t love yourself? Checking In with Susan David: Self-compassion for the self-critical | TED Talk
- We are on this together. Regardless of position, education, creed, ethnicity, etc. it is undisputed that we need to be more empathetic to succeed. Jamil Zaki: We’re experiencing an empathy shortage, but we can fix it together | TED Talk
- High-performing teams require amazingly imperfect people, not perfect robots or mommies. The best results are obtained by the best teams, and the best teams are the ones who accept, recognize, and embrace their weaknesses and failures. Thomas Curran: Our dangerous obsession with perfectionism is getting worse | TED Talk
It behooves each one of us to make an extra effort, to go out of our comfort zone, face our own insecurities and strive to create FEARLESS working (and family) environments. Are you ready to take the challenge? Please do share your views!
