Lastly: the disease of extravagance and self-exhibition. This happens when a leader turns his or her service into power, and uses that power for material gain, or to acquire even greater power. This is the disease of persons who insatiably try to accumulate power and to this end are ready to slander, defame and discredit others; who put themselves on display to show that they are more capable than others. This disease does great harm because it leads people to justify the use of any means whatsoever to attain their goal, often in the name of justice and transparency! Here I remember a leader who used to call journalists to tell and invent private and confidential matters involving his colleagues. The only thing he was concerned about was being able to see himself on the front page, since this made him feel powerful and glamorous, while causing great harm to others and to the organization.”
Gary Hamel
It was early and the morning -although still in summer- was chilly. Was it? Or perhaps I was cold because I left all my warmth beside my son as I kissed him goodbye. I don’t know; it was chilly, so I walked faster to get warm.
As I headed to the train station, pulling my big red luggage through the quaint old city where my son would grow into an adult, memories of his growing up assaulted my promenade. Not long ago, but in another life, I was driving to the hospital where he would see his first light and where I would first hold him in my hands, mesmerized by the miracle of life. Now, the baby I held had crossed the ocean as a young man to start traveling -solo- the journey of his discovery as I continued my own.
I felt proud and scared. Happy and sad. Anxious and optimistic. My son was fast asleep. I woke him up, we kissed goodbye, and he went back to sleep. The dream of life intertwined with the realities of time and distance.
Hours later, a message would light my phone screen and my heart: thank you, dad, for everything!
The cold was gone. The airport felt warmer than a minute before the message, and as I read the Pope’s last leadership disease for this message, I could not but ponder how critical it is to live life and exercise leadership as an act of service and not as an act of self-service. However difficult that may be…
I had previously shared my views about everyone being a leader, regardless of titles, positions, or social/professional standing. As a father, mother, or the head of a family, I’ve realized that our leadership styles define how our children grow and how they will eventually lead their own families, teams, and friends. It is, thus, indispensable to question if our ‘leadership’ intends to serve those we lead, or instead, it helps ourselves, our egos, our image, our goals, and even our insecurities.
I believe that people are good by nature, although good people -you and me included- can do bad, evil things. It is then not surprising, to me at least, that despite our excellent intentions, we all make big mistakes in upbringing our children, managing our families, and leading our teams. What is surprising, however, is that seemingly wonderful parents can be lousy team leaders and vice-versa.
How come, I wonder? Perhaps the answer is in Pope Francis’ statement: sickness is present “when a leader turns his or her service into power and uses that power for material gain, or to acquire even greater power.”
According to Pope Francis, if all I do as a team leader is to secure gains for myself, I am sick with ‘extravagance and self-exhibition.’ How sick are you? How sick am I?
The key to letting this idea sink in might be removing the qualifier. Few of us would admit or even think as a possibility that ‘all’ we do as leaders is to benefit ourselves. But what if it is not ‘all’ but ‘some’ of what you do as a leader? Would you entertain the idea that, maybe, you have as well turned the light on you rather than those you lead?
Let me invite you to identify the decisions and actions you took last week to benefit those you lead instead of you. Please consider all of your leadership roles, including your family roles.
How many did you count? Were those the majority of your actions or decisions? Did you struggle to identify them? How did you feel doing the review? Did you give up before finalizing the review, or did it lightly? Please, take your time. It is not as easy as it sounds, but it should be. Shouldn’t it? Bear with me and genuinely engage with yourself. Look for ulterior motives, the ones only you know to exist. Why? Because you touch many people’s lives, many more than you know or even imagine; therefore, your effort in engaging in this review and further developing as a servant leader is worth it!
In my case, I discovered that I am much more self-centered than I thought and certainly way more than I aspire to be. Fortunately, setting up my teenage son for University last week taught me a lesson -or two- about doing things solely for the benefit of those under your care. I did not necessarily feel good every time I did it. Sometimes, I wanted something for myself, not only for him. You know, the simple pleasure of sharing more time with him, getting further involved in his new experiences, or having him more enthusiastically celebrate my ‘good father deeds.’ But, as his leader, my job was to care for him more than I cared for myself. The time will come when the tides might change, and it will be his time to care for me, but caring for him is my job now. Whether you know it, want it, or like it, the fact is that those you lead -in whichever way- are under your care. Serving them -and caring for them- is your job! If you think serving and caring solely apply to your family or loved ones, think again. If, after doing so, you still think differently, please reach out to me and share your views. I’d be delighted to learn about your perspective and, who knows, write a revised version of this piece. AUGUST 2022