Today’s tip: TOUCH ME, PLEASE! She is intelligent, witty, sensitive, and cheerful. She is knowledgeable, professional, and successful. She is a caring and loving daughter, and I barely know her. But I was privileged to be the first person, outside of her very immediate family, to hug her after several months of strict self-isolation established to protect her aging parents from COVID. She later told me how scary it had been to see me for the first time in person, bulldozing towards her, with a hidden smile under my mask and my arms wide open, welcoming her to a new chapter in Nigeria.
As I advanced towards her, she asked herself: What am I going to do? How should I react? Her brain was shooting fast, making every calculation possible about risk management, social politeness, work etiquette, public health, family obligations, etc. But by the time a coherent thought started to emerge, the bear hug had already happened, and we had gotten busy with other mundane things. She was fine, even happy with the situation, but still in a bit of shock. I never imagined that a ‘welcome home’ hug would be so scary and thought-provoking, but thanks to COVID, it was and, I guess, it is. This made me think how important physical touch is to our wellbeing and prompted this GMN.
For over a year now, we’ve limited our physical interactions to the point that we no longer know what to expect or how to react when we greet, console or congratulate each other. This is not surprising. The news coming from several corners of the world about second or third waves is worrisome and depressing. We have lost loved ones or learned of the losses endured by family and friends. In this context, the “hugs,” the “handshakes”, the “pats on the back”, all these wonderful human ‘touch’ interactions appear to be luxuries we can -and should- live without, at least temporarily. However, can we? Should we? Is this good for our -physical and mental- health?
I don’t have a definitive answer, but I think we should ponder the questions and build temporary responses applicable to ourselves. As quoted by Daryn Ray in a recent article in The Economist, “touch is as necessary to human survival as food and water” […] “Our skin is the vehicle through which we navigate the world.” Research shows that “touch” reduces levels of stress (and its associated hormone cortisol) while increasing the production of natural “killer cells” to fight serious illnesses. A 2014 study at Carnegie Mellon University “observed that healthy adults who were hugged more frequently were less likely to get colds, perhaps because such embraces are a way of communicating affection, and people who feel cared for are less likely to fall ill.”
We are learning daily about the virus, how to fight it and prevent it.
The vaccines are good news, but there is no definitive response yet. It looks as if we will have to cope with this new reality, which is already old, for much longer. To do so, we will have to make conscious and informed decisions. There is a price to pay for each one of them. Isolating reduces -though not eliminate- the risk of infection but increases the risk of depression and other mental health problems. Responsible social interactions increase your wellbeing and boost your immune system but increase as well your exposure to the virus and the risk of infection. There is no perfect solution or easy decision, but I encourage you to think about it and decide. Be kind and generous, to yourself and others, with regards to the decision made. You’re not paranoid, weak, or fearful if you decide to keep a tight bubble. You’re not irresponsible, crazy, or daredevil if you opt to socialize within the legal parameters set in your location. All of us are going through unprecedented times, and I want to believe all our decisions are made with the best of intentions. Let’s focus on improving our decision-making processes, learn from our mistakes, and help each other to walk out of this ordeal better persons than we were when this all started. There is so much to be thankful for and appreciative of. Give yourself 10 minutes to see this video and get ready to feel good:
Louie Schwartzberg: Nature. Beauty. Gratitude. | TED Talk
In the meantime, until I make a new decision and unless you have symptoms or suspect you might be COVID positive, TOUCH ME, PLEASE!
My best wishes for the week. Take care and stay safe.
PS: Beware of the unfortunate hyper-sexualization of physical interactions. Not every ‘touch’ has a sexual connotation! Also, be aware that no one welcomes sexual harassment!!!
The pandemic made the world realise the importance of human contact | The Economist